Monday, April 8, 2013

Frida Mexican Kitchen

I was going to start by complaining about the grammar of the name of this restaurant, but then guys I remembered that I've never proofread anything I submitted to you, my loyal followers, and I'd rather do anything than be the pot that calls the kettle black, with the wrong punctuation and probably misspelled as well. You get off this time, Frida Mexican Kitchen, but in my mind I will always pronounce the apostrophe s.

Look I think Frida Kahlo is kind of weird looking, OK? We've discussed it before. If I were a famous artist known for my self portraits, I would not have painted myself so many times with a unibrow. I would have painted myself a lot skinnier, and my hair would be shinier, and my elbows would be less pointy, and I wouldn't have this weird tan line underneath my watch, where it's not really a difference in the actual hue of my skin but just in how many freckles I have. OK but Frida Mexican Kitchen LOVES Frida Kahlo. There's a portrait of her outside the door, and there are pictures of her inside, and the tables themselves are made out of laminated portraits of Frida. They're all the same portrait too. Look I kind of like it, OK? +31 I mean that's real commitment, you know? Real commitment. I'm not even talking, like, marriage commitment. I'm talking, that restaurant married Frida, then they moved to a small island with her, and then they kicked off all of the native inhabitants, and then they burned their ships, and then they ate all of the furry animals that they could have talked to, and then they lived there with Frida for the rest of their lives without having anyone else to be with except for Frida. THAT'S the kind of commitment this restaurant made to Frida, and it's nice.

What's silly about this restaurant is, it's your typical Mexican restaurant if you ask me, kind of dark, nice salsa, that kind of stuff, not dirty, you know, but not exactly fine dining. Call me prejudiced, but I always prejudge Mexican restaurants the minute I walk in the door, you know? If they put too much emphasis on appearances then I always feel like they're just trying to trick us into not noticing how bad the food is. Don't get me wrong FMK has good Mexican food, it's not bad, I ate the fish tacos, also the salsa is good, also the queso is good, you get what I'm saying, but that kind of stuff isn't important. What I'm trying to say is, the inside of the restaurant looks like it would be a good Mexican restaurant, but then the waiter comes to your table and he's wearing a really silly bow-tie! It was so big and fancy! Like we'd taken a wrong turn down Ella and somehow ended up at Brenner's! Did you guys ever read Catcher in the Rye? And our boy Holden's got that hooker in his room, and he's imagining her at the store buying that green dress and it makes him so sad that he can't bang her? That's kind of how I felt about my waiter - I was picturing him at home putting his bow tie on, and then I was imagining him thinking to himself, man, this sucks, I hate this bow tie, and it made me so sad that he had to do that for me, Catherine Martin, when I'd shown up in sweatpants and my Three Wolf Moon shirt. -18 You know? That poor waiter! I bet he wishes he'd been wearing his Three Wolf Moon shirt too.

The best part though is that their rice and beans don't come on the plate itself, they come on the side, in these little blue pots and and you think that it's this lovely surprise, and it is, you open the top, and on the inside is the rice and beans! You can recreate this moment as often as you want by replacing the lid and then removing it again! Oh, what's in the pot? Oh! Rice! What's in the other one? Oh! Beans! I love this kind of stuff +20 Luckily I have the wonder of a child, anything can impress me if I'm in the right mood and it's hyped correctly. Like you know those fizzy bath bombs that you drop in the water and they fizz up and then at the end the water is a different color and smells nice? I love those, I could watch them for hours. Anything that changes color, really, like those mood rings that only ever seem to go to purple? They have shirts that change color in the same way, like wherever someone touches you or if some parts of your torso are hotter than others then it glows a different color, isn't that awesome? I mean I think it would be embarrassing actually, like for instance your armpits are always going to be a different color, which is gross. But my point is I love these pots.

The only thing is I liked FMK but if you guys are in Oak Forest and want Mexican food you really should just go to Mi Sombrero and eat the Tommy's Tacos, as they are the greatest things in the world.

Frida Mexican Kitchen on Urbanspoon

No comments:

Post a Comment