Monday, April 29, 2013


Some of you may have read less than glowing reviews of Louisiana in this forum before. Those of you who know me may have heard me call Louisiana "America's butthole", "a dingleberry", or "a crappy place to go." Hating Louisiana as I did, I refused to enjoy Cajun food in any form, referring to all of it as "sewer trash". I know, guys. "Sewer trash" is a redundant phrase. Everything in a sewer is trash. Anyways! I've been shown the light! This Spring Break my best friend from high school and I ventured into the wasteland of Louisiana, and I kind of have a different opinion of it now! I mean don't get me wrong, the air got noticeably smellier once we crossed the border and I wasn't carded once in that lawless society (which, now that I'm over 21, makes me feel like an old lady rather than lucky that I got away with something I shouldn't have.) However everything I ate there was really tasty and more importantly, I held a baby alligator, which was life-changing.

Did you know that alligators have an acid inside their bellies that completely breaks down blood and sinew? They can just eat whole animals without having to worry about what's going to happen to them later.

Anyway. So now that I like Cajun food, I sauntered on over to local favorite BB's Cafe. I assume it's a local favorite because the logo is so cute, a snoozing moon, that there's no way people could manage to stay away. The logo would just melt their hearts. +10 Also there is a BB's right next to the Velvet Melvin, where I frequently hold my birthday parties. Public service announcement: you can no longer get a fish tank for free on your birthday, you have to pay $18 for it even if you cry. If you're looking for a better deal on your birthday, you can come over to my apartment but there's no guarantee that I'll stay awake past 12:30 to hang out with you (maybe that's why people in New Orleans didn't card me - because it was barely even night time hours and I was already checking my watch and wondering aloud when we could be back to the hotel room, asleep)

Look I'm going to tell you something real here guys, something non-arbitrary. I loved the fried pickles at this place. +1798 Fried pickles is one of the things that I like to eat the most with my mother, who is another fanatic. I've tried fried pickles across town - at Hooters, at Katz's, at Studio Movie Grill, at no other places than that. And the fried pickles at BB's are hands down the best in Houston. Not only because of the delicate flaking of the batter whenever you bite into them, but also because the ranch dipping sauce that they provide is BACON JALAPENO RANCH. It is so good, you have no idea. Recently my boyfriend told me that nothing I do would ever embarrass him, and so lately I've been testing him and I did eat a spoonful of bacon jalapeno ranch all by itself just to see if it's true. Let the record show that he was not embarrassed, -5, but the bacon jalapeno ranch dipping sauce was just as amazing by itself as it was with fried pickles dipped into it. Guys I love BB's, let's just get that through our heads.

I will say though that there was one thing I found unsatisfactory. Inside the Angry Orchard's six-pack that was holding the condiments on my table (I know, aren't they so trendy and cool with their empty hard apple cider cases on every table? This didn't even make me as mad as creative recycling normally does because of the food coma I was very quickly lulled into.) there were four different bottles of hot sauces. Two of the hot sauces were Tabasco related. One was Cajun Chef. One was Crystal's, admittedly the third greatest hot sauce. NONE were Louisiana hot sauce, my favorite hot sauce every, which is named for the state that this food came from!!! -19 Come on guys, can we at least stay on theme??? Look I'm not mad about this, I'm not about to go write a Yelp review or anything, especially since all the food was perfect and didn't need hot sauce. I would however call myself at least a bit disgruntled and I will be telling all of my friends that I meet at my next birthday at the Velvet Melvin about this.

BB's Cafe on Urbanspoon

1 comment:

  1. No one should drink at the Melvin, ever. Next year, your birthday party is at El Gran Malo. Make it happen.