Monday, March 18, 2013

Sushi Rock

Look Sushi Rock is on Holcombe, a street I drive up and down approximately a million times a week, gloating at the fact that my zip code makes me sound rich and professor-ly. I drive past Sushi Rock all the time, let's be honest, it doesn't look like a serious restaurant. It's called Sushi Rock and it's sign kind of looks silly, it's this kind of pinkish dot with "Sushi Rock" in yellow font on top of it. It's silly guys it looks like you're going to go buy Kroger sushi. -12 Not that there's anything wrong with Kroger sushi I actually eat it all the time.

Anyways, that place is straight legit when you walk in! I'm talking hardwood floors, authentically Asian waitresses, a sushi bar with a guy who will really stand there and talk to you and make you sushi in front of you, and one of those cats with his hand raised! I'm not trying to tell you that this is the most sushi-est sushi restaurant in town, but I am saying guys, don't be fooled by the sign! +7 Look chumps the main problem I can see with them is that they don't deliver, you do have to occasionally leave your apartment if you want to eat there, but if you want you can just pick it up and return to your home and spend the evening not wearing pants, laying on your back, playing the Sims 3 and pretending like you're doing homework. +19

The good thing about eating at your house, of course, is that when I returned home, my roommate's boyfriend showed the two of us a music video that I found to be rather uninteresting. If I were at the restaurant, I'd have to sit there and listen to the whole thing. In the comfort of my own home, I was able to shout, "this is terrible Andre! Shut off that noise, ain't nobody got time for that!" and he did. +31 for being at home, suck it Andre, that band was awful.

That's the main problem. Here's the less main problem: the acoustics in that place are not that great. Or I guess I should say, the acoustics are amazing, in that you can hear everything that is happening in every corner of the restaurant, no matter how badly you'd rather not. It's so still in there that as I sat there, reading my book on the Affordable Care Act, every time I turned the page, the people sitting in the opposite corner could hear what the letters on the page were. (You're welcome for the education, fellow diners, if interested feel free to take a course with one Professor Harrell Rogers where you will learn a lot more interesting things, such as stuff about horse rumps and Beijing). -9 Imagine trying to have a private conversation in there! The only positive would of course be that if you were a private investigator, like, trying to catch people selling nuclear secrets or the like, it would be fairly simple to catch the perpetrators, save America, save the world, win the girl, etc. But I'm not a PI and the guy sitting next to me kept saying, "I'm hungry. Hit me with another one." And the sushi guy would say, "Another what?" And the guy would say, "I don't know, what do you got?" It was so frustrating! The menu was right in front of him! He could have just looked at it! Ugh I was so mad at him! I work in a restaurant and people are always calling in, and I think they want to place an order so I'm poised to take it and they ask me, "So..... what do you guys have on the menu...?" Hello it's on the internet! What do you want me to read you our entire menu? All of the possible pizza toppings? No! Not going to happen! And then whenever this chump did refer to the menu he'd say stuff like, "Do you have any flying fish eggs?" Come on, man, do you see any flying fish eggs on the menu? Also why would you even want flying fish eggs? Look I'm no fish egg connoisseur, I'll be honest. But don't they all kind of taste the same? Like someone put tiny bubbles in salt for a year and then hardened them with fish spit? Come on guys come on. I really need this guy to pull it together. It's 8:00 on a Wednesday, he really should have better things to do than that.

Anyways. Don't worry. I think that guys gone, it's OK if you want to go hang out at Sushi Rock, he won't attack you with his ignorance. If you have any recommendations for places that will deliver sushi to my home, please email me at

Sushi Rock on Urbanspoon

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