Thursday, February 14, 2013

Cedar Creek Cafe

Here's a fun fact guys! This is my 100th blog post! If we were in kindergarten we'd celebrate this by throwing a 100 themed party, but instead I think I'm going to join a gym. +12 (That wasn't an arbitrary approval number guys, that was the number of pounds I've gained since starting this blog.)  (Just so you know I came up with this particular joke after my third blog post and have been waiting all this time to use it, so you better freaking laugh.)

I'll just go right out and say it: I think Cedar Creek is a little bit tacky. It's possible that the only reason I think this is because my friend Scott, who some of you may remember from several of my 99 other blog posts, loves it so much. As you may remember I've had a rather begrudging relationship with him and his restaurant choices; it's not that I think he's a redneck it's just that he's from Bastrop and said about Cedar Creek, quote, "It probably has the best atmosphere of any restaurant in Houston. Probably in all of Texas." -32 It's not that I think it has a bad atmosphere, it's just I don't think that atmosphere is created by putting beer signs on the wall. I get that Scott feels this way, he has pasted an enormous cardboard cutout of a beer bottle in the dining nook of our shared apartment. I don't enjoy sitting at picnic tables because no matter how the surface actually is, I always perceive them as being wet and sticky. I think that restaurants should have proper lighting on the inside. If there isn't proper wattage above my food, I assume that it's somehow doctored, like with poison, or hidden green beans.

That's the only bad thing I'm going to say about Cedar Creek. There's a large shipping crate in their outdoor seating area; I could come up with no other reason for it to be there than to serve as a hiding space for the bodies of bloggers who give negative reviews. Let's proceed to the rest of this review, a glowing endorsement:

Here's what's good atmosphere at Cedar Creek: on the ice machine, there is a picture of Ice Cube. On the tea dispenser? A photo of Ice T! This is very funny and witty, though I'll be honest, I'm only familiar with Ice T from his work in Law & Order SVU. +21 I don't want you to think I normally watch Law & Order, it's definitely my least favorite crime drama on air. Buuuut, there are only so many episodes of CSI and Castle, and my obvious favorite crime drama, Major Crimes, the Closer spin-off which has managed to achieve what we all thought was impossible - being as good as the Closer- is currently in between seasons. Sometimes I have to compromise my beliefs and watch crappy crime dramas. Personally, I think the best part of the show is Detective Stabler, who I happen to have a bit of a crush on, please don't tell my boyfriend.

Here's what else I like about Cedar Creek: there's an actual creek running alongside, and living inside said creek, there are little minnows!!! Little bitty minnows! +47 So I just bought this huge aquarium for my bedroom, it's 29 gallons, I haven't checked my lease to see if this is allowed so maybe you shouldn't talk to my landlord, either. Anyway so I went to Petco and I bought some fish, I have two angelfish, named Hamilton and Franklin, and a guaramo, named Christina, and two sharks, Sally and Patrick. Sally's really mean and she's starting to get super fat; she and Patrick are the highlight of my tank. At least they were. I mean what's cooler than having sharks that live in your bedroom? The only thing is Sally started to look kind of sickly so I looked her breed up on the Internet to see what I could do to help her out. Big mistake guys, I should have just let her starve to death without an adequate supply of leafy green vegetables, because guess what I learned! Red-tailed sharks are actually part of the carp family, and are also called "Redtail Sharkminnows." Minnows? You've got to be kidding me!! My sharks that I so lovingly plucked from their Petco aquariums, fed shredded cabbage, and bought catfish pellets for? They're nothing more than the minnows that live in the creek by Cedar Creek!

Obviously after I discovered this I sunk into a deep depression. I didn't get out of bed for hours, I just laid there sluggishly, my eyes glued to the tank, my vision blurred by tears. There was no more point to my life. All I'd wanted was to one day become a Bond villain, to be able to hang a British MI6 by his toes above my darlings, Sally and Patrick, only to have him escape at the last moment and save the world. How can I do that with a pair of carps?

In the end, it was their very weakness that made me love them more. Maybe they will never terrorize a major world power,  but that just means they need me, to feed them and protect them. They rely on me to love them and stare at them through the glass of their tank. How could I deny them of this, my mother's love?

It really turned my attitude around. I love my fish, and I love Cedar Creek, because they have little bitty Sallys and Patricks of their own. Thanks Cedar Creek, and please don't put me in your bad blogger shipping crate. :)

Cedar Creek Cafe, Bar & Grill on Urbanspoon

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