Monday, January 28, 2013

Moon Tower Inn

I'd like to start this review by telling you how much I love the movie Dazed and Confused, which I assume is where this restaurant got it's name. (Except seriously come on guys why is it called Moon Tower INN? You can't stay there, there are no rooms, they don't even have a stable you can hunker down in and give birth to a child and start a religious revolution. Plus it's all outside so it's not like you can even comfortably squat, you know, if it's raining or muggy. You'd wake up all sweaty and your neck would hurt.) My favorite part of the movie though is Matthew McConaughey when he says, "You know what I like about high school girls? I keep getting older, and they stay the same age." Gosh that's classic. Especially because he's doing the voice overs on those energy commercials, it's all I can think about whenever they play. There's some free marketing feedback for you guys: when people hear your ads, we think of gentle, playful pedophilia. +12 It's a great movie though seriously I could watch it two days in a row, no problem.

Here's what I didn't know about Moon Tower Inn: I had no idea they were open during daylight hours! According to Yelp!, they open as early as noon some days. As a college student, I've always preferred to limit my visits to the Moon Tower to the evening, usually after I've already had a meal and am just looking to chill out somewhere that people go on bikes. (Obviously I never go there on a bike, I buy my clothing without it having been pre-worn and I don't drink PBR; look hipsters I'm not trying to say I'm better than you I'm just saying I'm eating all of your foods without the added stress of having to be ironic about it). Anyways I'm struggling to decide how I feel about this. In the darkness, MTI looks like a patch of grass with some picnic tables in it (in the new Moon Tower Inn, the movie screen is still being rebuilt; the guy at the counter told me they would be building a whole sound stage I guess so that bands can go play there too, this is pretty exciting since sometimes this is all the culture I get. However this means that I don't even have the benefit of a glow coming from the movie screen so like if there was a giant subterranean rat coming up from the depths of Houston to kill everyone there I really never would have known, be careful guys it could be a real danger.) What could it possibly look like in the daytime? It's possible to tell that they have done some renovations, for instance they are no longer some tiny crappy looking building but a larger less crappy looking building. I think they are painted a different color. Look it looks the same as it did before in the dead of night but the hot dogs are still just as good as they were before so it's OK if you guys want to show up again. +34

Here's what else I like about the Moon Tower they have all those cool draft beers but I'll be honest with you guys I'm not a huge beer drinker, I always get a headache the next morning and it just doesn't taste that great to me, I'm sorry everyone I know I've let you down. I go for the hot dogs exclusively. But guess what they sell there! They sell Mexican cokes! You know, the ones that come in a glass bottle and they're made with real sugar? So awesome they taste so much better than regular cokes +91. Anyways I love these things can I tell you something that I read? Just to clarify I read this in a newspaper, not the internet, which means it's automatically true. Anyways it said that scientists have determined that your body reacts to the sugars in corn syrup differently than it does to the sugar in "sugar", and you have less weight gain that you do with regular sugar. Never in this article did it explicitly mention to me that I will still gain weight from real sugar, which means I've been drinking Mexican cokes like they are going out of style, I'm talking once every one, two weeks. This is heavy soda drinking for me, guys. Any weight loss over this time period can easily be covered up by my constant binges on Twix and Doritos! It's so convenient plus my scale covers up absolutely everything so I will never know the truth. My point is eat at Moon Tower Inn, you'll lose weight.

Moon Tower Inn on Urbanspoon

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