This is actually my fourth or fifth time going to Coco's Crepes because I really like it, guys. There's something about hanging out in that part of Gray Street, with all the apartments on top of restaurants and yuppies walking their dogs that makes me feel really competent and useful. I've been pretty stressed out about graduating in a semester and a half and not knowing what to do with myself and having to work in a restaurant for the rest of my life while I "find myself" and then having to move to Portland and always talking about how above the corporate life I am. I've watched three episodes of Portlandia, guys. I don't want that to happen to me. So, I went to Coco's Crepes to sit outside and look at all the people who have real jobs and deadlines and dogs who are relying on their support for survival and it really calmed me. One day I too will wear a pantsuit with matching heels. One day I too will have a desk.
There is one thing about Coco's that I don't appreciate, and I'm sure you guys who have been there can guess what it is. That's right. Their font. The thing is, crepes are serious business (except for this pun Melissa told me: Haunted French pastries give me the crepes. Heh heh heh +12 to Melissa). Their font is not serious! Their font does not capture the urban-ness, the ocean in the middle of the corporate grind! The font they use might as well be out in the suburbs, like in Sugarland or something, and then instead of selling serious, professional crepes, they'd serve muffins or something equally laughable. Losers eat muffins. (I just remembered that I ate a muffin for a midday snack today so I'm going to retroactively take that comment back.) Either way, muffins are not serious business at all and I wish they wouldn't project that image. -12
Here's the other bad thing, now that I think about it. I went to Coco's Crepes to act like I had meaningful, important things to do with my life. That's why people hang out in that part of town. To pretend like they matter. Or, you know, to actually matter. But either way, I wanted to work on my homework and eat crepes and wear heels. But without the heel part, actually, I just bought some shoes that look like moccasins but are actually slippers, they're all I've been wearing for weeks the slipper fur on the inside is all trampled down from continuous use. I don't care though, my feet feel great. Anyway, so I'd brought my computer so I could work on my serious, important person homework and my serious, important person writing projects. Like all serious, important people, I hadn't planned on coming to Coco's Crepes, I'd just impulsively decided that that was where I'd be the most productive. I don't know if that's how serious important people actually do things tbh. That stands for To Be Honest, just to let you serious, important people know. I didn't charge my computer! I assumed a place where serious important people hung out would have the tools to do their serious important work! But Coco's doesn't. I mean inside the restaurant they do, actually. You can plug you computer up for weeks inside. But I mean I didn't want to sit inside, I wanted to sit outside, so after I ate my crepe I just went home and did the work I was doing there anyway. -9 Less productively than I would have, I'm sure. I'm sure.
Look but have you guys had an Italian ice before? They have those things at Coco's Crepes. They are so good! It's like drinking a milk shakes, but they have all the flavors in the flavor universe. Watermelon? When's the last time you ever had a watermelon milk shake? Never, that's when! Unless you went to Jack-in-the-box they might have them there. Either way they're awesome, but they have half the milk products that a regular milk shake would have, which is really good because halfway through I always get real thirsty for water and then later I just think I'm a little lactose intolerant if you know what I mean. Plus it's carbonated! I'm just saying it's all the good things of a milk shake: tasty flavors, whipped cream on top, and none of the negatives: having to drink dairy products, not being to have watermelon flavors. +18323
That's everything I have to say about Coco's Crepes. If you want to offer me a job where I can wear pantsuits and own a dog when I graduate, email me at email@example.com. Otherwise, stay tuned for next week, because I just discovered the term "breastaurant" and am eager to use it in as many sentences as possible.