Monday, September 24, 2012

Jenni's Noodle House

I'd originally planned on using Jenni's Noodle House (3111 South Shepherd) for my Thursday review; unfortunately, I fell madly in love with it and you're stuck with them today instead of tomorrow.

The thing is, I've been kind of sick, and like all good girlfriends I invited my boyfriend over to take care of me, wait on me hand and foot, etc throughout my convalescence and I thoughtfully sneezed and coughed in his general direction enough that he, too, fell ill. Having nobody else to humor me in my sorry state, I decided it was time for both of us to get better and agreed to meet him at Jenni's Noodle House for hot soup and health. He's always raving about this joint and I'm like, hello, every pho place is exactly the same. But that's not true!! This pho place is way trendier and more urban than any other pho place you've ever been to! For one thing, they only serve two phos, "pho" and "faux pho", all the rest are just other Asian broth based wonders. For another thing, do you know what kind of music they play at this joint? Forever Young, for one! They played Bruce Springsteen! Listamania! +12! Every song you need to listen to while standing on a street corner in the rain, waiting for a taxi! Except "We are Young" by Fun., they didn't play that song.

And then their bathrooms! Guys, come on! They have onesie bathrooms for each the girls and the guys, but you go in, and the size! It's like it's a twosie or a threesie bathroom stall, there's so much room in there! They could have the entire band Fun. in there, playing "We Are Young" with their backs turned while you use the facilities to completely round out the urban feel. They could do that, they have the space. +3 They also use some kind of toilet paper that's thin like generic two-ply, like the generic two-ply most restaurants use, but it's soft like Charmin Ultra Soft and much more elastic. There was a lot of give in their toilet paper! It was pretty good stuff, and this is coming from an experienced toilet paper critic! I'm not saying I'd switch brands from my best friend Charmin Ultra Soft, but I'm saying it's worth checking out, gang. It's worth checking out. +10

The other thing is, do you know what they sell their T-shirts in? Little sushi containers! They're all folded up and crammed into these tiny sushi boxes, I think it's really clever! I've seen restaurants selling shirts in those Chinese take-out boxes before, that's not even cute any more, that's just strained and trite. But those sushi boxes? For one thing it's convenient because it's got a clear lid so you can see what you're buying without feeling like you have to commit, and then for another thing, I've never seen it done anywhere else before! I'm 21 years old, guys! I'm getting cynical and jaded! There's so little I haven't seen before! But then this comes along and I want to pour soy sauce all over it and eat it with sriracha! I love it! +17

The only downside about Jenni's is this. I just started a new job and I have this new coworker named Flanagan and I think we might be frenemies at best. Here's the thing he's always pretended to be interested in my blog, asking me where I've eaten, and he hates EVERYTHING that I love! You know what he said about Jus' Mac? That their plain mac and cheese is good, but he "doesn't need everything else on top if it. If [he is] going to eat a chili dog, [he is] going to eat a chili dog. [He's] not going to eat macaroni." Excuse me? And you don't even want to know what he said about Taco Bell's Doritos Locos Taco, you know, the really delicious one that's a regular taco but it has a Dorito shell instead of a regular shell. You know, THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD. All Flanagan ever wants to talk about is eating at nice restaurants and how he has such a discerning palate and I thought we could still be friends guys, I thought we could get through this, sometimes I tolerate opinions opposite to my own, SOMETIMES, until I saw him recently and told him how much I liked Jenni's Noodle House and he said they were OK he guessed, if I liked "nonauthentic, trendy food."

That really shut me up, guys. I thought I liked authentic food. I like Mexican restaurants in Mexican parts of town better than ones on Westheimer! That means I love authenticity, I thought! I eat at Vietnemese restaurants downtown! Sometimes! But guys I think Flanagan is right! I think I do like places just because they are trendy sometimes, just because they play Forever Young over the speakers and have silly, fun to pronounce menu items like "Faux Pho". Guys I think I'm a hipster and I didn't even know it. I have, like, four plaid shirts, I just did an inventory. I own a Member's Only jacket. I know all the words to Home by Edward Sharpe. Once, I drank half a six-pack of Lonestar. Lonestar! It's official. Flanagan's right. I'm a hipster, and I've lost all credibility. I'm sorry, guys.
Jenni's Noodle House on Urbanspoon

1 comment:

  1. Your reviews are hilarious! I just ate there (thanks to your recommendation) and actually went to the bathroom just to check it out (and maybe sing some fun. while I was there! haha!). :)