So recently I've been introduced to the seedy world of health inspections, and how embarrassing it is to have your restaurant shut down and then appear later in the week on Channel 2. Here's the thing, guys: in my experience, most restaurant kitchens are way safer and way cleaner than for example my apartment kitchen. Just the fact that these restaurants are run for profit means that they must be kept cleaner, not just from a health inspection standpoint but I would argue even from an efficiency standpoint. You can make more food in a clean kitchen than a dirty kitchen, and way faster, and while I don't have any kind of facts to back that up I do want to ask everyone to take health inspection scare stories with a grain of salt. Especially anything to do with bugs - in my internet research since my exposure to this, I've noticed lots of exposure to restaurants where bugs have been found. Seriously guys? Let he who has never found a roach in their house cost the first stone! It doesn't mean you're dirty, it just means you have a plumbing system! That being said, dialogue on this issue brought my boyfriend and I to the Spanish Flower, in the Heights area. One of his cousins used to be a health inspector, and he was telling me that one of the reasons she quit her job was that restaurant managers kept banning her from their restaurants, and she was scared of running out of places to go eat! Which is obviously the best reason to quit a job seriously guys I'd get plastic surgery or something so I could keep coming and I'd give them a fake name. But Spanish Flower is one of the restaurants which banned her (probably over something silly like mislabelled buckets I swear these guys get so particular) and I wanted to celebrate my ability to eat wherever I want, regardless of the things I'm going to say about them later on the internet. +4 for freedom guys +4 for freedom.
Here's the thing Spanish Flower is 24 hour Mexican food, my favorite kind of restaurant, and even better than that if you ask you waitress she'll breath the most beautiful phrase in the English language: breakfast is served all day. +71 Still it was a pretty reasonable time when the two of us got there, fresh off of our back-to-school shopping, our bags filled with folders emblazoned with kittens and pencil boxes we didn't really need. The restaurant wasn't even full, but they put us in the crappiest table imaginable, right next to the door, where everyone leaving or coming could trip over our chairs or, even worse, watch me drop salsa on my shirt in an unfortunate attempt to be a lady. -23 I just don't understand why we, of all people, had to sit at this table! Was it because they knew who Thomas's cousin is? Was it because I'm so hot, they wanted to punish me by making me eat in a poorly situated table and prove 30 Rock wrong, that sexy people do not live in a bubble? Was it because Thomas, unbeknownst to me, had dated the hostess and in a fit of jealousy she lead us to that table? Is my karma finally catching up to me from that time I hit a bird with my car driving home from Christmas break? The world may never know, but just in case next time I go to Spanish Flower I'll try not to look so attractive.
Here's what else you should know about Spanish Flower. In their entry way, they have a print of a Frida Kahlo painting. Maybe its a real Frida Kahlo, I'm not sure, I'll be honest they all kind of look the same to me. Look guys I don't want to be mean, but seriously, don't you think she is the worst painter ever? Look look look I studied art history I get that its sad, that she was confined to her bed, that she didn't have any friends and could only paint herself. I don't want to be mean, but seriously, if you could paint yourself however you wanted to, don't you think you would have focused a little less on the monkey sitting on your shoulder and a little more on clearing up your unibrow?? Ughhh I'm just saying -45
The thing is the food here is actually really good. Maybe their tangle with the health inspector was over unsafe levels of MSG or something cuz it was seriously good. Its their salsa that really blew me away; don't get me wrong it wasn't my dads salsa and it wasn't Escalante's salsa, but still it was just the perfect thickness. I hate watery salsa; I like to dip my tortilla in there and really make a difference, you know? At Spanish Flower, you always make a difference! +62
Anyways guys have a great day and remember, just because somebody has a health code violation doesn't mean you're better than them!