Thursday, August 30, 2012


Uggh I am such a pig when it comes to Mexican restaurants I think I should change the name of my blog from Arbitrary Criticism to "Catherine Martin stuffs her face with chips and salsa across Houston." I'm a pig and I don't care. Pico's (5941 Bellaire) has been on my to-do list ever since my friend Melissa (not my roommate guys believe it or not I have more than one friend) recommended their margaritas to me, and last night I decided to finally check it out.

The thing is guys, I had a really bad time there. Here's the thing: as a college student, the two words that are the most important to me are "Happy Hour." Shortly followed by anything that even sounds like it will have tequila in it. +14 for tequila. So I read on their website that they have happy hour from three to six on weekdays, and to me, happy hour means half priced drinks. I have no idea what happy hour means in real life, this is just my understanding based on the happy hour menus I read on the internet and the Sex in the City movie, which I watched with my mom. I only turned 21 a couple months ago and to be honest I haven't yet settled in to "drinking in public," so this was going to be one of my first experiences. I sit down with Melissa (this time my roommate Melissa, c'mon guys keep up) and Scott, and immediately order a margarita.

Then I inspect the menu. For one thing guys, Pico's seems really expensive to me! Look for the most part Mexican food is Mexican food, let's face it, while there is obviously a difference in taste from Taco Bell to Escalante's, the best Mexican food in the world, for the most part when you go to one Tex Mex place over another it's based on atmosphere. Doesn't it follow that they should all be priced the same then?? I'm just saying, I'm not going to go to one place and pay fifteen dollars for something that I can pay nine dollars for somewhere else! -71 I was going to this place in the first place for the happy hour. This means I'm a cheap bastard! That's what that means! I'm not going to mince words with you! I'm sorry I used that kind of language! And you know what the worst part is? I'm on scholarships! I'm not even a starving college student! I'm just this cheap out of principle!

And then! You know something?? We had the worst waiter in the entire universe! He came by, took our drink order, came back, deposited mine and Melissa's margaritas, didn't even bring Scott's Sprite, and then disappeared without even taking our order! It's possible that we waved him away at this point, I don't remember. All I know is, he didn't return for at least ten minutes, without Scott's Sprite. At this point we were still arguing about how expensive this restaurant was, and the fact that nowhere on the menu did it actually mention what kind of happy hour specials they had, and the fact that we were probably going to end up paying nine dollars for a drink, so we definitely waved him away this time. Nine dollars for a drink? You can get a handle of McCormick's for that much money at the liquor store, guys. Just letting you know what kind of deals there are. He went back for Scott's Sprite, and didn't return for another ten minutes. -81 Do I look like I'm made out of time here guys? Do I? Because I'm not. I'm made out of flesh and blood and a lot more sodium than I think is strictly good for me. As far as time goes, I haven't plucked my eyebrows in a month because it's impossible to multitask while doing this. Things are getting out of control on my forehead! I'm starting to look like Frida Kahlo! (Heh heh heh take that Frida) I certainly don't want to wait twenty minutes for somebody in a dining room with only three other seated tables and two other waiters! C'mon guys. C'mon! So in revenge we didn't order any food at all. Take that, Pico's! I just sat at your table and ate three baskets of chips and got drunk!

But guys here's the thing about their margaritas. I mean I don't remember what exactly it was that Melissa told me so many months ago about this place that lead me to write their name in my planner, but they gave me 27 oz of margarita for only eight dollars and a quarter. At the time I thought it was outrageous, but by the time I reached the bottom of my glass, whew was it worth it. The waiter was still awful and the food was still overpriced, but at the end of that drink... the music was so much better, the decor so much homier, and the bus boy, who kept bringing us more chips and more of their salsa (which, by the end of our stay, was the best salsa I'd ever tasted), was the most handsome, gentlest, most wonderful man in the entire world. I'd started out the evening complaining to Melissa and Scott about all my responsibilities and stresses, but by the time I left... honestly guys I can't remember what sorts of responsibilities I have at this point, I think maybe I go to college and I seem to remember some kind of detail about a job but I'm not sure... and instead of starting on my homework or reading a book or anything like that, when I returned to my apartment last night I took a bubble bath and watched two hours of Batman: the Animated Series on my laptop. +142 Stress? What is that? I'm not sure.

So if you're having one of those days, I'd recommend actually researching when their happy hour is and checking Pico's out. Just remember, if you have to wake up early the next day, to drink lots of water before going to sleep and maybe setting an extra alarm, just in case. Pico's Mex-Mex Restaurant on Urbanspoon

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