Thursday, August 2, 2012

BRC

Look guys I've been wanting to eat at BRC since I first drove by it, because as we all know BRC stands for Big Red Cock, and they have a giant red rooster in their parking lot, and what sound do roosters make? What sound, guys? That's right! Roosters say "Brrrc! Brrrc! Brrrc!" It's the cleverest naming strategy I've ever seen! I mean guys it's genius! +165

Obviously I was going to like BRC no matter what based off of that, I mean they could have been disgusting and I still would have wanted to go back. But as you all know I just returned from Canada and I'm not sure if you guys are familiar with the Canadian oddity of poutine, but it's French fries, covered in gravy, mixed with cheese curds. I mean it sounds nasty but I'll always give someone a chance and I gave poutine a chance and I'm glad I did, it's delicious. Just so you know that's brown gravy not white gravy, I know, I know, but it's still one of the best things in the world and guess what they serve at BRC! POUTINE, with DUCK! They've taken one of the best things in the world, and then covered it in a bird which guarantees they can charge at least twice what they normally would! I mean this is good marketing guys, not to mention it was delicious! +13 As delicious as the poutine was however I am under oath to mention something horrible that happened at dinner, however: we'd all been plugging away at this poutine, but you know how group dinners go, nobody wants to seem like the piggy one and down the whole plate of appetizer, and everyone's taking delicate bites to try not to seem too desperate and hungry, and when you get down to the last four or so bites, the really good ones, the ones that are completely drenched in brown gravy, and then there's the gravy on the bottom that you can run your fork through on the way from the plate to your mouth, you have to sit and wait a minute to pretend like you're going to let someone else eat them first. I know, I know, it's hard, but it's etiquette, you know? It's etiquette. So all of us are sitting there, staring at the plate, wondering who's going to break first so we can all dive in there and stab each other over the deliciousness, when who should walk by but the waiter and take those last delicious bites, without first asking if we were done. The best part of the appetizer, wasted by the wait staff! I'd never been more heartbroken in my life! -8 Normally I'd be outraged and throw a couple chairs around, grow to twice my size and have my skin change into green, but as you know the name of the restaurant is BRC so I sat through it and only cried into my napkin a little bit.

Seriously though guys have you been into this restaurant before? It is so trendy. You can tell it's trendy by how little effort they've apparently put into making it trendy. Instead of regular napkins for you to wipe your poutine-y fingers on (don't lie, it's just a fun word), they have heavy duty kitchen towels. They're the same towels we used at my first job in Waco, Texas, to clean the kitchen at the end of the night. The same ones! They're giving us kitchen towels and we love it because it's new and novel! +2! I don't know about you but I'd love anything BRC gave me! More than that, they have these framed images on their walls and the first part is a picture and then underneath it is a word, or vice versa. But like it's the word bar, but then underneath it instead of being a picture of a bar, like you were expecting, there's a picture of a fly. So you're supposed to interpret that as "Barfly." Get it? It's not your normal restaurant artwork, guys, it's snooty and highbrow! You have to actually think about it! +89 Oh gosh it's ingenious I've never exercised so many mental muscles in my entire life, you know??

Oh man and you know what's really great? Their bathroom. The thing is you guys, you first walk in to their bathroom area and there's the girls bathroom door and the boys bathroom door and two other doors which I didn't go into because I assumed at the time that they were unisex bathroom doors but now I'm scared are doors to wealth and riches, available only to whoever is brave enough to enter in to what they thing is a unisex bathroom, and along the other wall was a long trough like sink. Boy was I not looking forward to that! I'm sure you all are aware that I'm a world traveler, and this is something that I've seen a lot of in Europe. Being forced to wash your hands in public. I mean what is that, they're afraid we don't wash our hands in real life, and they think that if they make us accountable to everyone using the bathroom at that time, we'll be more willing to? I don't think so guys, I wash my hands every time I use the bathroom, no matter WHO'S watching, so you're not going to trip me up. And since when were we falling over our heels to emulate Europe in the first place? They have a unified monetary system! We laugh in their faces! So I was a little teed off and then I walked into the actual bathroom, and guys, you have to know, everything is completely alright. I'll spoil the surprise and tell you not to worry, there is an individual sink in the bathroom, so you don't have to make any of your sins known to the other bathroom users. Wash or don't wash your hands at your own prerogative, I won't tell. And the best part? On all four walls there is a thin strip of mirrors running along all sides and it is so cool! Right you know how when you have a mirror in front of you and a mirror in back of you you can look into them and see infinity of yourself and in my case it's beautiful and wonderful! Well here there are FOUR mirrors on ALL sides so you can see infinity of yourself from every angle! Let me tell you, leaving that bathroom was the hardest thing I've ever done in my entire life, and it couldn't have happened without the thought of duck poutine waiting for me! +93

That's about everything. If you have any alternative recipes for poutine, please, feel free to email me at arbitrarycriticism@live.com! BRC Gastropub on Urbanspoon

No comments:

Post a Comment

Post a Comment