Monday, June 25, 2012

Cleburne Cafeteria

It's just that guys, sometimes Luby's isn't enough. You know? This is the 21st century. It's time to live a little, stop supporting the massive conglomerates, give up our love of chains, eat in Mom and Pop restaurants. (Heh heh heh guys I bet for a second I fooled you into thinking I don't have a picture of Dick Cheney taped over my bed so he can watch over me while I sleep silly hippies +9) Let's face it, the real problem is that once I got outclassed by a Luby's in uptown, and I've been hesitant to return ever since; Cleburne Cafeteria, at 3606 Bissonnet, is my only recourse.

Let's start from the top. OK, here's what's weird about Cleburne Cafeteria - they have all these dark, dreary looking pictures of sailboats on the walls. What on earth is a sailboat doing in Houston, is what I want to know? I mean I guess you could sail the bayou if you wanted but I think your sail would get caught in the overpasses and to be quite honest, you'd probably scrape up the bottom of your boat when you get to those places where there's not that much water. Plus there's all those catfish that live there, I think they're radioactive, I mean you know they say that catfish will eat anything and I think that's even less of a positive attribute in Houston that even in other places. -12 But then you read the History of Cleburne Cafeteria available at location and on their website, and you get your answers; they were all painted years and years ago by the guy who used to own this joint, Nick Mickelis; he was from Greece and he painted things that reminded him of home. But guys I was actually in Greece the other week and if I'm honest with you, I didn't see a whole lot of sailboats there, either, just really scary drivers and some young Greek children who kept yelling things at me that I didn't understand, I mean it's all Greek to me. AHAHAHAHA +3 I'm just saying I think this guy is a dirty liar.

But look guys maybe That History should be required reading because it actually answered a lot of my questions. For instance, why is it called Cleburne Cafeteria? It's nowhere near Cleburne! It's blocks and blocks away from Cleburne! Bissonnet Cafeteria, I could understand that. Mickelis Cafeteria, I can understand that. I mean guys it got to be I couldn't even drive down that block of Bissonnet without getting a headache because of the obvious lack of understanding of Houston geography! -17 But the thing is, if you read The History, you'll understand that Cleburne Cafeteria was originally in a different, undisclosed location. What do you think that undisclosed location was? I mean I'm not sure guys, I'm not a genius, I'm just Catherine Martin, but I'm willing to hazard a guess that maybe it was on Cleburne St. And you know what? Cleburne Cafeteria used to have a different owner, too, a different undisclosed owner. I mean I'm no member of MENSA, guys, I'm just one girl, but you know what I bet? I bet that the old owner was NAMED CLEBURNE! His name was Cleburne and it was on Cleburne! That's why they named it Cleburne Cafeteria, because that particular name has so much History with this store! +41

Oh my gosh but do you know what the worst part is? This isn't even a regular section of my blog here, this is just a regular old PSA. They only take cash at Cleburne Cafeteria! Isn't that the worst? And if there was a sign I sure as heck didn't see it, my whole party and I selected our food and got to the end of the line and then we were hit with the blow that none of us had planned accordingly and none of us could eat! I mean it didn't actually come to that. We got to eat. But I feel like that's a pretty important thing, especially in this day and age! Everybody takes debit cards! I almost never carry cash, because I know that if I do my addiction to vending machine candy bars and all other things that come out of vending machines will be the death of me! -34 I just think it's mean for people to allow you to live under the impression that this was a magical, progressive world, and then hit you with the fact that you actually have to plan ahead for your days and carry currency in your own pocket and get your own hands filthy the germs of other people's transactions.

They have pretty good chicken pot pie there but more importantly they keep free copies of West University Examiner outside their door; go ahead and check it out but make sure you bring cash and don't forget to read Their History! Cleburne Cafeteria on Urbanspoon

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