Thursday, April 5, 2012


I know guys. You keep reading my blog and thinking, okay, you've been reviewing average restaurants with decent food... when are you going to review a restaurant I care about? When are you going to review my favorite restaurant? And now I have! Welcome, one and all, to my review of Fuddrucker's!

Seriously, there isn't a single thing you can say bad about Fuddrucker's. The burgers are juicy, their buns are soft and well buttered, the guacamole on their Southwestern burger is green and fresh. Guys it's just a great restaurant. The best part though I think we can all agree is the drink fountain. Oh my GOSH it's so high tech! Have you guys used it before? Instead of just having eight or ten choices like you do at average, boring burger joints, at Fuddrucker's you have dozens! You click the Fanta button, sure, you have regular Fanta's like strawberry and orange and grape, but you also have fun, wild flavors like lime, peach, and pineapple! They have Dr. Pepper, Diet Dr. Pepper, Dr. Pepper with Vanilla, and Dr. Pepper with Cherry. And you don't even want me to get started on how many flavors are under the Coke tab, it's just ridiculous. +91 It's not all sunshine, though. Remember when you were a kid and you'd drink suicides? You know, you'd put all the different sodas into one cup and then you'd drink them all at once? That's what's wrong with Fuddrucker's today. It's fine and all if you go at a reasonable time, when all the little brats are tucked away in their beds, like eight thirty or so. But at peak little kid times? You'll be standing in line to get a drink for thirty minutes will those animals have to work through each of Fuddrucker's 6000 flavors. They can't even fit them all in one cup! You can't taste it when it's just a teaspoon of each flavor, you little squirts!! Just pick ten like we all had to when we were younger and leave us alone! I'm just saying, back in my day, I didn't have anything as cool as Fuddrucker's and they're abusing the privilege that comes with supreme awesomeness. -14

But you know what else is cool about Fuddrucker's is that they have a toppings bar. I mean I'm an American, I love my choices. And Fuddrucker's has so many. But it's not just between, like, how much tomato do you want, how much onion, how many pickles.... ANYBODY could offer me choices like that. I mean even at McDonald's you can ask for extra pickles. Probably. I mean I've never tried. But at Fuddrucker's it's not even just which kinds of toppings you want or how many. I mean you can choose if you want your onions sliced or diced. You can choose if you want your tomatoes sliced or diced. You can decide if you want ketchup or spicy ketchup or barbeque sauce or if you want regular cheese or nacho cheese. I mean seriously guys it's amazing. +45

But it's not just about the choices, either. Inside Fuddrucker's... I mean geez. It's got to be the tackiest place in the world! There's never been a restaurant in the universe with more Americana than Fuddrucker's. They have a bike, just hanging from the ceiling, because everybody knows that people in America ride bikes! (Heh heh heh). They have license plates, just hanging on the walls! Old signage, paintings of the American landscapes, and in some of them they have former American Presidents, just sitting patiently just like you or me with their shake number, waiting for their chocolate shake. I saw Ben Franklin there once, my favorite US President. (Heh heh heh). +4

I'm just saying guys, what's more American than Fuddrucker's? You've got your burgers. You've got your low food prices leading to obesity in America. You've got your excessive to the point of vice number of choices. You've got your old tin license plates on the wall. It just doesn't get any better than that, folks, I wish I'd saved it for ya'll for the weekend of the 4th of July. Oh dear, did my good old boy accent come out? It's just because I've been eating too much Fuddrucker's.
Fuddruckers on Urbanspoon

1 comment:

  1. No mention of the variety of meat products? No mention of Elvis? No mention of the 8 video games? No mention of the choice in seating (bar style or dinner table)No mention of the variety of FREE cheeses? No mention of the fact that vegetarians can graze limitlessly on pico and shredded lettuce and ranch dressing?
    Catherine, we need to go to the Fudds in your hometown soon so I can show you the mysteries of Fuddism that took me years to learn.