Monday, April 9, 2012

Dry Creek Cafe

Here are the restaurants owned by the same people as Dry Creek Cafe: Canyon Creek, Onion Creek, Cedar Creek, and Oh S*** We're Up a Creek. I'm just kidding about that last one. Dry Creek Cafe is located at 544 Yale Street, and there's a really polite sign in their parking lot telling you that you're allowed to park on Yale Street any time Monday - Saturday except 4-6 pm, and all day Sunday. Isn't that exciting? You can just park on Yale Street whenever you want! Except Monday through Saturday 4-6! Or you can park in their parking lot if you're a complete square.

So I really had to powder my nose when I got to Dry Creek Cafe if you know what I mean, so I said hey to the waitress and then slipped into the bathroom, flipping the light switch as I locked the door behind me. And you know what? The light was already on!!! It was awful! It was like I went into my apartment, decided it was too bright, and so I crawled into the cupboard to dim things out! Except it was bigger, I don't know why I went with a cupboard as the comparison! -3 My point is the bathroom is really dark. If there's one thing you guys should know is that I'm very particular about the things that go on in my bathroom. Look, I'm not going to admit that women ever excrete anything. I've never sweat. I don't even have saliva. I was only in that bathroom to make sure my hair looked nice before my date got there (which I couldn't do in the half light -14). But if I were to ever use the equipment in the bathroom, guys, you have to know, I'm unbearably particular. Just ask my parents. Just ask my roommates. I refuse to allow anything other than Charmin Ultra Soft to touch my lady bits. Not that it ever needs to, just in theory I'd only let Charmin Ultra Soft touch them. Over the summer I was assigned a stranger as a roommate, and she brought a case of Scott into my bathroom. I immediately bought enough toilet paper to get us through the summer, and that Scott is still in my bathroom, untouched. I will never use it, even if I run out of regular toilet paper. Not that I'm admitting I have things to keep bottled up, but I will go weeks without urinating if it means I don't have to use non-Charmin toilet paper. Other things about my bathroom that bother me are the proximity to other people. I'll admit that sometimes I'll talk to Melissa through an open door if I'm going to be quick, I'm sorry to share our secrets in public Melissa, but she and I have been through a lot. I'm definitely willing to say that among the ten grossest things that Melissa and I have done together, peeing with the door open does not even come close. Once, I froze off her wart. +6 for friendship. But that's about it, really. You know women who talk to each other between stalls? Oh my gosh, that weirds me out. And people talking on their cell phones in the bathroom! That is disgusting to me!!! And not that I pee, and especially not that I ever do anything in the bathroom OTHER than pee, but I've been known to go all the way to the library to avoid people knowing my bowel movements. Fourth floor blue wing, we've had our times. What I'm trying to say here is that I'm excessively neurotic when it comes to bathrooms. So for them to keep their lights so low is really just offensive to me. I feel like I've shared way too much with you guys tonight, so I'll just give everyone here a -8 for the low lights and we'll move on to things I'm more comfortable discussing in public.

OK. OK. What's a safe topic. Our waitress! Oh my gosh guys, she was so nice. Most of the time, I just want somebody to laugh at my jokes and pretend like I'm funny. I know what you're thinking, Catherine, you're so hilarious, how can you be so insecure? I know. I know. I'm ridiculously funny, it's true. But the fact is this waitress was very smiley, she laughed at all my jokes, she was wearing this nice shade of lipstick and I had a bit of a crush on her. She filled up my water twice. When I chose "the Nitty Gritty" off the menu, she said, "oh, cool!" Then she explained that it was one of her favorite things on the menu, and she wished more people ordered it. When she asked me how I liked my eggs, I knew that she was asking because she wanted to know everything about me, not because she wanted to make sure my order was right. When Thomas ordered, she didn't say anything! She only thought I was cool, and she only wanted to know about my eggs. +67 I loved her!

Another good thing about Dry Creek Cafe is that they have real live honest to gosh flowers on the table! +23 A whole bouquet. And all the tables had them, it's not just that the waitress and I had a thing. It was a Dry Creek Cafe thing, not an our connection thing. I wonder how many times a week they have to change them out! I wonder if they have a person who's entire job is to wander up and down the highway picking flowers! Oooh I hope they have openings, that sounds like just the kind of job I'd be perfect at!

And that's about it! Be sure to check out my most recent accolades here, and feel free to email me at arbitrarycriticism@live.com to tell me how great and funny I am!
Dry Creek Cafe on Urbanspoon

1 comment:

  1. Just for the record... mine didn't come with eggs.

    ReplyDelete