Monday, February 13, 2012

Dragon Bowl

I know it's been a while since my last post, sorry my dozen of fans, I was busy leading a productive and responsible life. Today however I'd like to embark with you on the second stage of the Pink's Pizza World Tour, at 1221 W 11th Street in Dragon Bowl Asian Bistro. Can we just start by saying how much I like that the address is 1221? Something you didn't know about me is that my second favorite number is 121, since it's the first three digits of my date of birth when put in MM/DD/YYYY form and also it's eleven times eleven and I've always had a special place in my heart for perfect squares. Just a fun fact about me that gives Dragon Bowl a +1221 before we even walk through the door. (If the score is +1221 does that make it a less arbitrary scoring system? I'm afraid it does... -27 to me)

I know we've been talking about fish a lot lately (and I'd like to update everyone to let you know that Melvin hasn't been sick in at least three or four weeks which is a record for me) but it's impossible to discuss Dragon Bowl without talking about their enormous aquarium. I mean the aquarium itself isn't that enormous but the fish inside it are. I mean geez what do they feed their goldfish, whole cows? I'm just saying those things maybe need to be put on a diet they're the size of small dogs for sure. Anyway but the fish themselves aren't the concern of my comment; do you guys know what they serve at Dragon Bowl? I mean Asian things obviously but they sell sushi there! Don't you think that's really mean? Having live fish in an establishment that sells dead fish? Those poor guys must be so nervous! Every time somebody takes a bite of yellow tail or the Dragon Roll which I hear is delicious, they must cringe on the inside! That could be their uncle! Or their sister! I mean I hope there isn't any gold fish in the sushi they serve there but I don't know! I'm not Asian! I don't know what "Tuna" or "Tempura fried soft shell crab" mean! That's a foreign language! I took Spanish in high school! I shouldn't be expected to translate intense menus just to decide if there's an animal rights violation taking place! -5!

Don't worry though it's not that bad. Like most places I like, Dragon Bowl caters mostly to white people. I mean on the inside they have pictures of dragons obviously, I'd be offended if they didn't, but they also have these really cool paintings of women and things that are done in kind of a comic book style, like they're panels in a comic book, I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. Anyway but like I said that's not really that Asian and I like that, because their food really isn't that Asian either, based on my limited knowledge of the Bellaire area. But anyway I mean it's not bad food that wasn't a slight. BUT ANYWAY so they have a lucky kitty inside on top of their beverage cooler, facing the door, and I think it was the perfect touch! Because even if they're obviously catering to my crowd it's still an Asian Bistro, and I've never been inside any Asian bistro I liked that didn't have one! I don't know this significance of the lucky cat and I'm too lazy to look it up, but when I was in Las Vegas this winter break (did I tell you I won thirty dollars?) I went inside this pho place and they had two lucky kitties of different sizes and they were both waving their paws but they were waving them in sync! Isn't that so neat? I mean they were obviously two different lucky kitties probably from two different lucky kitty outlet malls, but they were perfectly together! It was so nifty! +12

And the last thing I have to congratulate Dragon Bowl on (can I just say that most of the time I see congratulations written down someone's trying to make a pun, like, congradulations on your graduation, and I always want to type congradulations even though I know it's wrong I just can't help it it's been written into my MIND) is that they have real live flowers on every table! Isn't that so sweet? I mean you usually only see that in really classy joints like around Valentine's Day like we are or whatever but I think it's a really nice touch. I mean Dragon Bowl isn't any kind of white table cloth joint, you can go just after work when you're feeling all grumpy and used and really sorry for yourself just in jeans and a T-shirt by yourself if you want and nobody will look at you weird. (At least I don't think they looked at me weird, everybody was really nice.) I mean don't get me wrong they weren't huge bouquets, they were just little small pink flowers in shot glasses but I'm a woman and I thought it was nice, OK? Geez get off my back. +4

But yeah anyway that's my review of Dragon Bowl. I obviously mostly just like it because once when I was in seventh grade I read a Dragon Ball Z fan fiction (I've never even watched the show I was under the impression from the fan fiction that they were all green and I deluded under it for like two years) but that's beside the point, if you want to check it out you should and then email me at arbitrarycriticism@live.com.

Dragon Bowl Asian Bistro on Urbanspoon

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