Prince’s Hamburgers, people tell me, is a Houston classic. Every time my boyfriend drives me by the original location he points out that it’s the original location, even though now it’s a parking lot. He actually does this to a lot of different things in Houston, like, “Do you see that mound of dirt? That mound of dirt is my childhood,” while pointing to a go-cart place that was torn down to extend 290. Like he isn’t driving his girlfriend home from the movies but rather conducting a tour of the old city of Houston. He’s a pretty weird guy but I can’t help but think it’s cute. I’m pretty game to like anything that people tell me is a Houston classic, if only so I can blend in with the locals, so I’m going to go ahead and say I love Prince’s. I actually really like hamburgers like these, where they taste closer to McDonald’s than TGIFridays. I don’t like all that Angus beef and USDA grade A kind of stuff, I just want some beef that’s been ground up and pushed in patties and slathered in sauce. I’m pretentious about a lot of stuff, like the kinds of bath towels I use, so I can afford to be unpretentious about something like this.
What I really like about Prince’s though is this picture they have on the wall of John Belushi in Animal House. +12 You can sit in a booth and stare at him the entire time you eat a hamburger by yourself, if that’s your kind of thing and not just my kind of thing. Anyways the thing is that scene in Animal House where John Belushi is in the cafeteria and then he puts the coconut puff in his mouth.... OK OK I'll just include a youtube link for you. I laugh so much every time I watch that clip! Oh man. The looks on their faces, am I right guys? Am I right? A zit. Geez that kills me, it has to be the funniest thing ever filmed in the history of filmography.
Now that I've watched that video clip approximately five and a half times today, we can move on to the rest of the review. Here's what's adorable about Prince's Hamburgers. Sometimes when you order the Prince's Original Hamburger, they say, "The one with the sauce?" Like they want to confirm that that's the hamburger you want. Like there are half a dozen Prince's Original Hamburgers on the menu, and they anxiously want to confirm they are going to serve you the correct burger. +191 This is the cutest thing in the entire world to me, and I feel like it's just the right amount of campy that it melts the cheese of my heart. To be clear this was a hamburger metaphor, while my diet is on the poor side even I don't have cheese growing in my heart. The bad news on the other hand is that literally the only reason why I go to Prince's is so that somebody will confirm "the one with the sauce" with me, and this most recent time that I went to the Prince's near West U I had to say "the one with the sauce" myself. -41
Here's some fascinating gossip about Prince's Hamburgers, though! There's an embittered scandal between them and Restaurants.com! Apparently the website was selling gift cards that the restaurant didn't ever endorse! +46 is this juicy or what guys! I'm an excellent detective so of course I did further research online; Prince's isn't even the only restaurant that's had this problem! According to the comment section of a blog I found discussing this (the comment section is always where I get my best research done. What's more trustworthy than a bunch of anonymous people posting hateful things on the internet?), anybody can sign a restaurant up for Restaurants.com - it doesn't have to be the restaurant owner. Then they're stuck having to honor these gift certificates they never even made, at the risk of alienating customers!!! Man what a doozy am I right? Anyways I feel like a pretty important investigative reporter breaking this bit of news to you guys, so if everybody knew about this but me please keep it out of the comment section.